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CHILDREN in the Quran and the Sunnah

there is no decisiveness concerning them, they tend to incline to crime and wrong-doing.

4- The upbringing method based on affection and decisiveness:

In this upbringing method children are satisfied sentimentally and are also raised as being studious, patient and willing to accept responsibilities.
Scholars in this field have recognized this method as the best method for upbringing a child.
However, what is the viewpoint of Islam in this regard? In religious instructions, there are different discussions in this concern, but the important matter is to know the overall system that dominates these issues and deduct an upbringing method from them. Seemingly, the method that we can take from the holy Qurān and the traditions and is derived from them is that which is mentioned in the fifth method.

5- The upbringing method based on love, strictness and dignity:

From an Islamic viewpoint, love is one of the principles of the upbringing of a child and has strongly been emphasized upon and the lack of love and affection has been strongly reproached. However, at the same time, excessive love and affection has also been admonished. Therefore, along with love, firmness and strictness in upbringing a child is also strongly recommended.
Based on this principle, while the child receives affection, he is not free and left to himself to do whatever he wants. On the other side, while he is being raised, he is also given kindness, affection and tolerance; and it is for this reason that excessive scorning and violence, which are among the pillars of the method of harshness without affection have been reproached.
There is a third dimension in the upbringing method of Islam, which is ‘dignifying’.


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An Analysis on the Methods of Upbringing Children

Scholars have introduced four methods for upbringing children, and a further fifth point can be found by studying the Islamic sources. They are as follows:

1- The upbringing method based on strictness

Children who were raised with this upbringing method which was mainly practiced by the old and previous generations would not feel any love and affection, and it would often result in anxiety, depression, stress and, at times, even suicide. However, this strictness could cause the child to become responsible and hard working. Parents do not show affection to their children for fear that they may become spoiled. They believe that any praise and admiration can lead to selfishness of the child.

2- The upbringing method based on kindness and lack of strictness

This method which was formed in reaction to the first method leads the child to become spoiled, morally weak, dependant, demanding and childish. Moreover, they will lack resistance, patience against difficulties and would face problems in their family and social lives. Such children do not sense lack of affection and the parents who adopt this method tend to assume their children are right. They give to the child whatever he likes and try to avoid anything that displeases him. In this method, the parents believe that the children are always right, and whatever a child wants must be given to him and we must not upset him in any way.

3- The upbringing method based on lack of kindness and lack of strictness:

This upbringing method trains children, who are entangled with sentimental disorder due to not receiving affection, and as

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    CHILDREN in the Quran and the Sunnah
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