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The Method of Islamic Upbringing
A- Honoring, Gentleness, Sympathy and Love:
279. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Honor your children and teach them good manners.”1
280. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, narrating from the uncle of Abu Rāfi‘ ibn ‘Amr al-Ghaffāri who said: “I was a child when I threw pelting stones at a date tree that belonged to the Ansār, and when the Prophet (s.a.w.) came, he was told: “There is a boy throwing stones at our date tree.” I was taken to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and he told me. “O boy! Why do you throw stone at that date tree?” I answered: “I eat [from it].” He said: “Then do not throw stones at the tree, and eat whatever has fallen under it.” Then he (s.a.w.) touched my head kindly and said: “O Allah! Satiate his stomach!”2
281. al-Mu‘jam al-Kabir, narrating from Asad ibn Widā‘ah who said: “A man named Juz' came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! My family makes me angry. How should I punish them?”
He said: “Forgive them!”
The man asked him the question again and repeated it three times. Then the Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “If you should punish, then punish what is appropriate to the wrong act, and beware of [striking] the face.”3
282. Imām ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Be like a friendly physician who applies medicine where it is useful.”4
283. Imām ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Rebuke the evil-doer by rewarding the good-doer.”5
284. Imām ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “The punishment of the wise is [done] implicitly, while the punishment of the ignorant is [done] explicitly.”6
1.. Sunan Ibn Mājah, vol. ۲, p. ۱۲۱۱, h. ۳۶۷۱. Tārikh Baghdād, vol. ۸, p. ۲۸۸, h. ۴۳۸۹. al-Firdaws, vol. ۱, p. ۶۷, h. ۱۹۶. Both narrating from 'Anas.
2.. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, vol. ۷, p. ۲۹۶, h. ۲۰۳۶۴. al-Musannaf by Ibn Abu Shaybah, vol. ۵, p. ۳۸, h. ۲. al-Tabaqāt al-Kubrā, vol. ۷, p. ۲۹.
3.. al-Mu‘jam al-Kabir, vol. ۲, p. ۲۶۹, h. ۲۱۳۰. Usd al-Ghābah, vol. ۱, p. ۵۳۴ h. ۷۴۰. al-Isābah, vol. ۱, p. ۵۸۶, h. ۱۱۵۳, with ‘disobey me’ instead of ‘makes me angry’.
4.. Misbāh al-Shari‘ah, p. ۳۷۰. Bihār al-Anwār, vol. ۲, p. ۵۳, h. ۲۱.
5.. Nahj al-Balāghah, Wise Saying ۱۷۷. Khasā'is al-A'immah, p. ۱۱۰. Bihār al-Anwār, vol. ۷۵, p. ۴۴, h. ۱۲.
6.. Ghurar al-Hikam, h. ۶۳۲۸- ۶۳۲۹. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawā‘iz, p. ۳۳۹ h. ۵۷۷۶- ۵۷۷۷.
