“And he is a servant for [the second] seven years.”
The obedience of a child to his parents is the result of the utmost confidence that he has in them which he acquired during the first seven years of his life. The appearance of this state in the child during the second seven years which is the time of his education is of extraordinary importance for his upbringing.
After finishing the second seven years of the child’s life, there comes the period of his ministry in the family, as the tradition continues saying:
“And he is a minister for [the third] seven years.”
In this period the child is no more a servant. The gratification of the personality of the child requires that, as being the minister of the family, he should be consulted with and the things that he is capable of doing can be given to him to do. By observing the above factors, the responsibility of the family in the child’s upbringing and education is fulfilled.

Dignifying a child means to honor and value him. In the Islamic approach, a child must not be degraded just because of being a child, and he must not feel that he is worthless or of little value. A child is mostly in need of affection, and an adult is mostly in need of respect,¹ yet this does not mean that the personality of a child must not be respected. The same goes to elders, as one must not forget to respect them, and be kind and affectionate towards them.
The child who is given value and his personality is respected and honored feels worthiness with honor and self-dignity, and one who considers value for himself, does not engage in wrong doing.
Self-dignity is the main pivot of Islamic morals and upbringing, and its most important way is to respect and dignify people, in particular during childhood. Of course, the concept of dignity is partly dependent on the teaching of good and bad.
One of the most important upbringing points that must be observed in respecting the personality of a child is to take his feelings into consideration during the first seven years of his life. This subject is so important that according to a tradition from the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), this age period is called as the term of the supremacy of a child. He (s.a.w.) said:
“A child is a master for seven years.”
The supremacy of the child calls for his commandment and obedience by the parents, which means that during his first seven years, a child must command in the house, and therefore, whatever he wants must be provided if it is not harmful and it is possible for the parents to do so.
The result of the upbringing of the child as a commander during his first seven years and the correct submission of the parents to him will be the absolute obedience of the child and his love to the parents for the duration of his next seven years. The tradition continues by saying: