Fulfilling Promises and its Impact on in the Upbringing of Children
When a child becomes aware and starts to understand things, he is given promises by his parents, which some of them are fulfilled and some of them are not. Islam has given significance to the fulfilment of promises and highly emphasised it. The reason for this emphasis can be analysed and explained below:
One of them is the moral aspect of the matter. The breaching of a promise is a bad moral character which applies to everyone and every situation among them children as being clear and evident example.
Another aspect is the setting of a bad example for the child. Breaching a promise is forbidden for everyone, but as regards to children, because of their age and upbringing circumstances, it is of more particular importance. A child takes examples from the behavior of others, his parents in particular, and since taking example is done in childhood, it has a deeper and longer lasting effect on the child’s personality in a way that correcting any mistake will be impossible or very difficult.
A third aspect is the negative effects it will have on the child’s future relation with Allah. Some researches have shown that the child’s relation with Allah is influenced by the parents’ relationship with their child. Before a child becomes familiar with the concept of Allah, he considers his parents, especially the father, as his master and figure of authority. In other words, he believes the parent carries the role of lordship for him, and this is why a child considers his parents always correct and faultless and that they possess all perfections and virtues. A child does not even imagine that they may have a slight defect or deficiency. Now, if the parents do not fulfil the promises that they have given to their child, he will relate this breach of promise to the concept of lordship and in the future this will subconsciously have a negative effect on his relation with Allah.
The expression in the following tradition gives testimony to this: “They think that their sustenance is from you.”