It is evident that fair behavior does not mean equal and similar treatment. Many times, it happens that observing justice requires that the father interacts more with some of his children because of the differences in their talents or due to a sickness, or other issues. This is not considered as injustice, but in these cases he must explain the reasons for his behavior.
When the father feels that observing the rights of one of the children will bring about some negative or dangerous consequences, he should stop, as Imām al-Sādiq (a.s.) says:
“My father (a.s.) said: “By Allah! I act with one of my children and make him sit on my knees, show him much affection and thank him a lot, even though it is the other child who is right; but I do so for the sake of protecting him from that child and from others, lest they do the same thing against him as the brothers of Yusuf (a.s.) did to him. Allah sent down the Chapter of Yusuf as an example so that some of us do not feel envy towards others as Yusuf’s brothers envied and wronged him.”¹
As mentioned in this tradition, Imām al-Bāqir (a.s.) in order to prevent the envy of some of his children towards each other and its evil results, avoided showing affection to the child to whom he must have been affectionate more than to the others, but he also showed affection to the other child who was jealous, in order to protect the favored child from the danger of his brother’s jealousy. This is an important lesson for those who are in charge of the upbringing of a child, especially for the parents.

Being Just between Children

One of the important discussions in raising children is the administration of justice by parents among their children in giving them affection and material possessions. This issue can be analysed from both a jurisprudential view and from an educational and pedagogical perspective.¹
The issue that is focused on here is the applying of fairness between children from the second point of view.
Administering justice among children can have certain important upbringing impacts which are mentioned bellow:
1- The children in response will do good to their parents and observe their rights.
2- They will not be unjust to their own children.
3- Observing justice between children will prevent them from envy and revenge on each other.
4- More importantly, the child will be brought up from the very beginning of his life with the spirit of fairness and the just behavior of the family will provide a ground for social justice.
Injustice and discriminatory treatment of the children not only deprives the parents from their love, but it also endangers the future of the children. This is why scholars in the field of education and upbringing in the present era have considered the observing of justice in raising children necessary for the upbringing of virtuous people.
Islam emphasized this matter fourteen centuries ago and the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) used to order the Muslims to observe justice not only in granting material things [like gifts] but also in kissing their children.